Where I Live 1

Kathy Nobles

I live within a melting pot of my experiences. No matter the physical structure that may, or may not surround me, I am embedded with the thoughts, feelings, opinions and visions of my past. The glue of family and friends has patched the holes of my sometimes fragile existence. I am a lucky one, with glue as strong as iron, or as soft as silk, as the need may be.

Where ever I live, I surround myself with things I love (rocks, twigs, shells, art, memories...things don't match, I don't care); and people, who respect who I am, that I can trust; and pets with soft eyes that love me no matter what. The sometimes ugly world evolves around my space. Daily I question how it can be so cruel, so cold, so inhuman. Daily I vow to keep my little space warm, safe and loving....to see the good and imagine.....that there is nothing else.

Through the years my vision has changed, being bombarded by reality. Physical moves from the steadfast Midwest to the zany world of Los Angeles propelled my young mind into a world of diversity, glamor, sin and adventure. Then slammed back into what seemed like the past in Mid America...my life changed again.

I've lost track of how many wars (usually not called wars) have taken place around the world in my lifetime. At times I blatantly protested them; then I resolved myself to the fact that it will never stop...the hate and dissension that somehow justifies the willingness to kill and be killed. First it was friends I lost...then children of friends....now grandchildren of friends....but before that....if my father had not survived...I would not be....

Where I have physically lived has changed about a dozen times, and every move has been another addition to the great melting pot in my mind. From the trusting "rose garden" of childhood; to the "what's wrong with the world" of adolescence; to the cookie cutter "establishment" patterned for "success"--or at least a comfortable way of life; to now:
I want to be myself
I want the wars to end
I want the government to do what is right
I want my child to be happy
I want my partner in life to grow old with me...running, jumping and smiling through life.