What? This chair? You want I should get down off this chair? Why? Wait…don’t tell me. Because I’m a dog, right? I heard it all before. You people, you got some nerve, lemme tell you.
Okay, okay…I’m a little cranky today. The mailman, he came again. Why don’t you talk to him? Tell him once a week, that’s enough. How much mail do you need? I can take once a week. Twice a week even. But every day? He does it on purpose, I’m tellin’ you. And then you. I don’t like to complain, but we’re falling into a rut here. You get up in the morning, you make me go outside…and don’t tell me you’re not in a hurry. You may not say it out loud, but I can tell. So I have to rush my business, and then I’m clapped back up in the house and you’re gone. All day, you’re gone. So it’s just me, sitting here all day, nothing to do. Me and the mailman. And when you come home, you expect me to be all bouncy and happy? What kind of deal is that?
Okay, look. I’m gonna get down off this chair. But you and me, we’re gonna have to have a talk. Soon. You know I love you. You know I do. But really, something’s gonna have to change. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go to the back yard and see a guy about a horse.
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