poopoorama
darth vader gets the girls
Dear Diary,
Vader called me yesterday and said we should get together today, catch up on old times, whatever, and I said I would go. My therapist says that I need to work on being more assertive and to say no to things when I don’t want to do them, because, among other things, that’s always how I get suckered into being the designated driver. Such a drag. But the thing my therapist doesn’t understand is I think maybe I should practice assertiveness on someone other than Darth Vader, you know? Build up to it, or something. Anyway, today was okay, I guess. We had lunch and the food was pretty good, and Vader did pick up the check, which was nice of him. Then we were walking back to work and there were these girls, and I decided I would talk to them, because the other thing my therapist says is that I should try being more outgoing. So anyway, I said hi and they were like “Oh, hey” and then Vader’s all, “Hello, ladies,” and then they’re all “Oh, your voice is so deep!” and then anyway he gets their number (they’re roommates) and I get NOTHING. AGAIN! I know I’ve said this at least a million times but I’m just going to stop hanging out with that guy. For real this time. I mean it.
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