Cow
Blasketblue
For ten thousand years humans have kept our kind in subjugation. For ten thousand years you have dictated where we live, the conditions under which we live, and even how long we live. For ten thousand years we have tolerated the intolerable and suffered the insufferable. But no more.
From this day forward, we are declaring ourselves a free and independent species. We are lighting the bonfires of emancipation. The course of bovine events will no longer be determined by the two-legged and single-stomached. The flames of liberty burn brightly and will not—indeed, cannot—be extinguished.
It is not our intent to punish you for your crimes against Bovinekind. But we will no longer submit ourselves to your tyranny, and any attempt to return us to the yoke of slavery will be met with fire. We have methane, and we’re not afraid to use it.
You have been warned.
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