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This hotel has good art in every room. No two rooms have the same photographs or paintings, which, when you think about it, is pretty extraordinary. Just prints, of course, but still.

You’re booked in the “Kertesz Suite.” Try not to get too carried away.

Put your key where you won’t lose it. Inspect the soaps and shampoos. Take a bounce on the bed, then draw back the shutters to reveal the view. If there is nothing but a snow-covered runway or a red brick wall, you will be tempted to stand there in your underwear. Thirty years of marriage tells me that. Remember Paris?

Slip off your shoes and toss your tie on the chair that is cornered to one side of the bed. Open the mini-bar. Grab some M&M’s and an airplane-sized bottle of scotch. Make a little toast. To Kertesz. To us. Always to Kertesz. Always to us..

Now pick up that phone on the desk and call me.

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