Venice in Vegas
james_michael_hill

Venice in Vegas is a gondola plied by an actor making minimum wage in a striped shirt and funny pants, who’s dreaming of greater things underneath his straw hat. Venice in Vegas is water that’s swimming pool-blue and just as clean and chlorinated (unlike real Venetian water, which is a suspicious color and has a suspiciously un-chemical smell). Venice in Vegas is shallow canals—Both indoor and outdoor! One of them is even on the second floor!—so if you accidentally fall in while you’re going around and around and around or back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, because the endless repetitions of “That’s Amore” have made you a little mad and dizzy, you can be back at the blackjack table in 15 minutes, none the worse for wear. Venice in Vegas is fake as can be and just as fuckin’ grand.

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