Thiophene_Guy

Peruse the icicle forest

Alone among all his Smurf brethren, Freezy Smurf longed for a coat. Even Grouchy Smurf, who lost no opportunity to complain, didn’t really get why Freezy Smurf was so absolutely obsessed with the idea of weatherproof outerwear. ” Get over yourself Freezy, We don’t need to cover our chests, Smurf-folk are all liberated and unashamed of our naked torsos, I mean, except for Smurfette, but y’know she’s always got to be different. I ask you, what’s the deal with all that yellow hair of hers? Baldness is good enough for everyone else, but oh no, not Smurfette; she spends hours shampooing in the shower, uses up all the hot water, and then she goes and tells you that she has hat hair. So yeah obviously, she’s going to go and wear something totally different, and while I’m at it, have you ever noticed her eyelashes? Weird huh? But yeah Freezy, I mean, even Smurfette doesn’t wear a coat. Holy Gargamel! What even is this coat thing, you keep going on about?”

Freezy Smurf just sighed and sadly turned away to peruse the icicle forest.

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