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Sit yourself down right there, and make yourself at home.

The gas mask? I finished of my pack of N95s and I didn’t want to take that chance that we might get closer than a metre or two apart. I know the rules are a pain, but there are advantages, you’ll see.

The baseball bat? No, that’s a rolling pin, and before you ask, I know that chef’s uniforms are usually white but when you’re working on squid ink pasta, trust me, it’s the only thing to wear.

That’s it, sit right there beneath the vent where it’s cooler. Feels good, doesn’t it? Breathe in that lovely fresh air.

And the gloves? Oh yes, the gloves. They’re to make sure I don’t leave any fingerprints.

In the pasta? No, on your body when I’ve… oh you can smell it now, can you? Well  I can’t in this mask,  but don’t worry it won’t be long, you’ll barely feel a ….

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