take your victories where you can

Susan Myrland

I found the cloisonne ring! And the white beads!

The beads were stuffed in a sock, which was then wrapped in another sock. Of course, why didn't I think to look there? The ring was in her jewelry box. I know I looked and it wasn't there before, so it's just been hiding in an alternate universe for a few weeks. The gold wedding ring is gone forever. It disappeared during a period when she'd lost a lot of weight. My guess is that it slipped off her finger and lives in the garden or in another resident's room. Or it was thrown out in a kleenex. Whatever, it's gone.

Still, I'm feeling better about things than I have been. I've been thinking a lot about my "miserable environment" comment last week.

It IS a miserable environment, in some ways. How many of us could eat 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, in a dining room where your tablemates wail and moan and smell like pee? And you never really know where you are, where your room is, what happened to your dog, when you last saw someone you know or when you might see them again? That part of it is miserable, no doubt about it. It is gut-punching, soul-breaking, cry yourself to sleep at night painful.

But I also think of the staff who try so hard to see that Mom is bathed, fed, comforted, hugged, entertained, and healthy. They do everything they can to mitigate the miserableness. They can't make it all go away, but they sure try to lessen it. And I don't want to lump them into the same "it's all bad" perspective. No-one can do what they do. They make Ginny's life better every single day. That's a victory worth cheering for.

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