Handcrafted teadybear

Robert Harper

The pirate styled John Galliano hat has to be worn at a rakish angle. To ease your way through life then it is essential that you always polish your shoes including the underside as Gloria Swanson used to do.

Well designed clothes can help you to have a trim, streamlined appearance, so over the christmas period you can gorge yourself into a state of puffed up bloatedness, all the while being reassured that a tuck here and a pleat there will disguise the fact that you are corpulently fat.

Remember to use lots of eye catching accessories, and lots of cheap scent. If you bedeck yourself with lots of sparkley trinkets and smell like a 30's whore house, any mistakes you make regarding you wardrobe or colour coordination, can be forgiven

Everybody needs forgivness, and remember to polish the soles of your shoes.

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