Personal Essays
Anatomy of a marriage
So, my grandmother got married. We do not know precisely when, but perhaps in the late 1920’s. Perhaps she would have been in her teens.
We know very little about my grandfather. He was called İbrahim Hakkı. Those of his family who survived the Cretan massacres of ethnic Turks in the late nineteenth century (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cretan_Turks) had fled to the Aegean port of İzmir. He subsequently moved to Cyprus. We do not know precisely why or when he moved, but perhaps it was related to the chaos that descended upon the former Ottoman territories after the disintegration of the Ottoman Empire at the end of the First World War. We do know that he had previously been married, but that he and his wife had been separated because of the social consequences of the foreign invasions suffered by Anatolia at this time. When he tried to find out the whereabouts of his wife he was informed that she had been killed.
At the time of their marriage, my grandfather was considerably older than my grandmother, although we do not know precisely how old he was. No doubt he was considered a good match for her because he had an excellent income. He worked for the government of Cyprus (by then a British colony) as an agricultural engineer. My grandmother was well trained in cooking and running a household, but she had no formal education.
It was an unequal marriage between a very young woman who was illiterate and a considerably older man who was clearly very well educated. They had four children, two boys and two girls. One of the boys died of meningitis as a child. The other three grew to adulthood. The youngest child subsequently became my mother.
We know very little about my grandfather. He was called İbrahim Hakkı. Those of his family who survived the Cretan massacres of ethnic Turks in the late nineteenth century (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cretan_Turks) had fled to the Aegean port of İzmir. He subsequently moved to Cyprus. We do not know precisely why or when he moved, but perhaps it was related to the chaos that descended upon the former Ottoman territories after the disintegration of the Ottoman Empire at the end of the First World War. We do know that he had previously been married, but that he and his wife had been separated because of the social consequences of the foreign invasions suffered by Anatolia at this time. When he tried to find out the whereabouts of his wife he was informed that she had been killed.
At the time of their marriage, my grandfather was considerably older than my grandmother, although we do not know precisely how old he was. No doubt he was considered a good match for her because he had an excellent income. He worked for the government of Cyprus (by then a British colony) as an agricultural engineer. My grandmother was well trained in cooking and running a household, but she had no formal education.
It was an unequal marriage between a very young woman who was illiterate and a considerably older man who was clearly very well educated. They had four children, two boys and two girls. One of the boys died of meningitis as a child. The other three grew to adulthood. The youngest child subsequently became my mother.