Personal Essays

intentionality

There are judgments.

They happen with alarming frequency in the tides of my mind. A jolt in my brain chemistry and I imagine that others have turned against me. I am the one who turned against me, though -- alone in some self-imposed isolation. Crowded into a small space of dark worry, I look onto the day but don't move from my perch, hiding.

I have the time now to introspect, to tear apart the intricacies. But I don’t. I sit, ensconced in the paucity of my own mental ruling. In looking in or out, I find discomfit.

I turned to photography, because it spoke in a personal way without having to explain much explicitly. But that inwardness also is a barrier. Everyone looks at something with their own thoughts. That is perception, and I might try to influence you with mine, but ultimately, you won't see my work with anything but your own eyes.

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