Fight of the Swedish Tardus Prototype

Robert Harper

So there I was standing looking at this Swedish phonebooth. It looked like rocket, albiet an ancient rocket, about to take off.

It is hard to explain what happened next. It looked like the metal began to shiver, and the whole booth began to spread out as though making more room and space to accomodate Monsieur Creosote.

Then the whole thing began to wobble like a jelly, slowly at first but then it began to get faster and faster until it was vibrating quite violently.

Then I could have sworn I head a voice say "Happy New Year everyone, and may your new year's flatulence be tuneful and fragrantly innoffensive."... followed by a soft whisper "wafer-thin mint non Monsieur?"

After that final utterance the phone booth completely disappeared and I was left standing covered from head to toe in what could only be described as pig-swill.

It's true.

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