Before the Parade

TUFFY: Okay, let’s make this quick and clean. Muffy, you guard the door; nobody in or out. Buffy, you keep the bank clients quiet; put ’em on the floor and keep ’em there. We don’t want no heroes. I’ll handle the tellers. In and out in seven minutes, tops. Okay, let’s…
BUFFY: Wait…am I Buffy or Muffy?
TUFFY: You’re Buffy, okay? Then let’s…
BUFFY: How am I supposed to keep the clients quiet? What, do I shoot ’em if they talk?
MUFFY: We’re not shooting anybody. Tuffy, you said no shooting.
TUFFY: Nobody’s getting shot. Buffy, you intimidate ’em, that’s all. Scare ’em.
BUFFY: Intimida…I’m wearing a polar bear costume, how am I suppose to intimidate anybody?
TUFFY: It’s an abominable snowman costume, not a polar bear. Abominable snowmen are scary.
MUFFY: I thought we were polar bears too.
TUFFY: WE’RE NOT POLA…never mind. Bears are scary too, okay? Now, we got a bank to rob, so let’s get…
BUFFY: Once I get ’em on the floor, can I kick ’em?
TUFFY: Can you what?
MUFFY: I’m okay with Tuffy kicking ’em. I just don’t want anybody shot.
TUFFY: I’m Tuffy. That’s Buffy. And sure, go ahead, kick ’em if they make any noise.
BUFFY: Any noise at all?
TUFFY: Any loud noise.
BUFFY: How loud would…
TUFFY: Use your judgment, okay? Can we just go rob this bank now?
MUFFY: I got to go pee.
TUFFY: I swear to god…
MUFFY: Ten minutes, just give me…
BUFFY: It takes you ten minutes to pee?
MUFFY: I’m in a polar bear costume, remember? It ain’t pee-friendly.
TUFFY: Seven minutes. We’re in and out in seven minutes. Can’t you hold it for sev…
BUFFY: Maybe we should try again tomorrow? Muffy can pee and I’ll have time to practice looking intimidating in a polar bear costume.
TUFFY: We’d have been done by now if you two hadn’t…
MUFFY: You sound like my mom. She has a weak bladder too.

Blog photograph copyrighted to the photographer and used with permission by All photographs used on are stored on and are obtained via the flickr API. Text is copyrighted to the author, greg fallis and is used with permission by Please see Show and Share Your Work