Rachel Irving

Ohhhh!... Right... Yes... I guess that makes sense. Anyhow so what have you got against the British?


You said the girl was British and emotionally repressed.

My parents are British.

Are they emotionally repressed then?

Not so much. Not all British are repressed, and you know what else about my parents, they eat cookies.

They can’t be real Brits then.

Why, because they aren’t repressed?

No because they eat cookies. Real Brits are civiliSed, with an ess not a zed, and only eat biscuits, digestives or garibaldis which they dunk in their tea. Never cookies.

Well my parents do both, cookies and biscuits, and so do I. Apart from the dunking thing. So anyhow what was your story?

What... Story?

You know. The girl... on the train... with the cookies.

Oh yeah right, there was this girl on a train with her cookies. They happened to be chocolate chip cookies, not unlike a cookie we both know rather well. She started to eat the first one, and she choked on it, and then the guy next to her pulled the emergency cord, and then the train driver braked really suddenly, and then the train jumped the tracks, and crashed into another train and everyone died, and, and, and the other train was full of kittens, and they all died too. And it was all your fault.

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