You Suck: A Conversation

pete rosos

P: “Hey sweetie. Lookin’ good as usual.”
Cig: “Yeah, I know. You’re lookin’ as spineless and gullible as you usually do.”
P: “Awe, come on now. You don’t need to be that way. I know I hav-”
Cig: “You know you haven’t what?”
P: “I know I haven’t been around as much lately, but ...”
Cig: “But, what? No, hold on. Lemme guess. You’ve been ‘busy.’ What’ll it be this time? Work? Family? Taxes? You had to go in for thyroid surgery? Look, I’m tired of hearing your excuses. I just want to know one thing. Are you committed to this relationship or not? ‘Cause no matter what you say, lately I’ve got the feeling like you’ve been avoidin’ me.”
P: “Ok, I understand you’re upset with me not being around and all, and because of that you’ve got every right to question my commitment to th-”
Cig: “Damn right I’ve got every right!”
P: “Look, I’ve got something I’ve been wanting to say to you for awhile now. Just hear me out, ok?”
Cig: “Alright, but I already kn-.”
P: “Do you remember when we first met?”
Cig: ”Oh no. He’s actually gonna go there.”

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